Let Someone Help

As a minister I learned very quickly that I cannot do it by myself. Sometimes Satan tricks you into thinking that you are or that you can, but it is not true. The body of Christ must work together. We are a family for a reason.

I'm the kind of person who thinks, "if it is going to get done correctly, I must be the one to do it!" About ten months ago on a youth group trip called Trek (if you are unfamiliar with Wilderness Trek, we climb a 14,000 foot mountain in 6 days with a group of about 10-20 teens) in Colorado and I had a revelation: "I must invite others to help me." There was a deeper level to this revelation - I was not allowing people to serve and give of their talents because I was too worried about "doing my job" correctly. As a youth minister fresh out of college, I wanted to impress and calm any potential nerves that anyone may have about a 22 year old college graduate coming into serve as the new youth minister. I came in hard: planning activity after activity, literally making myself sick on the amount of work I loaded upon myself (some weeks I logged 70+ hours), meticulously caring after every minute detail, and making sure I did at least 50% of the work. I backed off a little after our first summer and Fall retreat, allowing some to help in the Spring ... and then the worst happened.

My dad died on March 1, 2008 and I couldn't rebound. I was in this whirlwind of self-doubt and frustration. I could no longer call my dad and hear his reassuring words of confirmation and suggestions. I could no longer focus on one detail without thinking of the hurt inside me and I nearly broke. I began to allow Jacinda (my perfectly sweet wife) to help pick up where I was missing and be a huge part of the students' lives. I stopped caring so much about the activities themselves and began to look more intently at the students. I feel that I have more openly invited their parents and our Christian family to share in their lives. I am listening to the studies that show the more adult interaction students have, the more love they will feel and more opportunity they will have to connect with different adults.

It was on this Wilderness Trek last July where I gave up my control of the group and asked for God to control what we did, how we did it and how much "work" went into it. More volunteers got involved and I began to take a day off. I'm glad to say that my wife and I have grown closer through her incredible involvement with the youth group and their parents. All of the kids say, "this is our youth minister Evan and his wife Jacinda (whisper: she's the cool one :) )."

The reason I am writing this post is to thank all of the volunteers who make our (Jacinda and me) opportunity to serve you in a healthy way possible. We have 25 weekly volunteers and about 40 others who give their time to the teens and are available for personal interaction with these students. One of our elderly members handed one of our volunteers a check last week to "do with it as they pleased the next time the youth group comes over." I LOVE when people recognize our volunteers as the ones working with the students, it's great!

Thank you